A Lapsed WWE Fan Reviews Wrestlemania Night 2

So last night I wrote a mostly glowing review of Wrestlemania Night 1. Night 2 was not as good. But it was better than I expected. I expected something like last year. Last year was basically the end of me as a WWE fan. I loved Night 1. I hated everything about Night 2. This year? More mixed. Still some supremely enjoyable moments. But still mostly good. Match by match (or segment) in order.

Triple H Welcomes Us to Wrestlemania and Symbolically Leaves His Boots in the Ring

Grade: N/A

I just wanted to mention this. Triple H is one of the greatest of all time. He’ll clearly be in the headline spot for the Hall of Fame next year. And while it would have been nice to see a final match, Triple H clearly hadn’t been training hard to continue his in ring career since the pandemic started and I think I can speak for pretty much everyone in saying we are glad after his big heart health scare last year that he is still alive.

RKBro Defeats Alpha Academy and Street Profits to retain the Raw Tag Team Championships

Grade: A

This was a great opener. It popped the crowd. It was entertaining. It told stories. And wow is it weird to say this considering how little I’ve watched in recent times: but Randy Orton is as over as a face right now as any time in his career. Pairing with Riddle has done wonders for him.

The Double RKO spot was amazing. Montez Ford is a freaky level athlete. And Chad Gable finally has found himself as a smarmy little heel who you want to see get squished like a bug.

Bobby Lashley defeats Omos

Grade: B

When you don’t follow WWE closely but follow the wider world of wrestling via AEW and NJPW as I do, you get a skewed opinion of someone like Omos. Basics from what I can tell since I last saw him last year at Wrestlemania (not counting his short Royal Rumble stint). He’s Giant Gonzalez part 2. That isn’t a good thing.

My impressions after tonight and thinking about last year: He can’t work well. But he has good facial expressions. Needs to get more training to consistently have matches like what we saw tonight. He might be better cast as a giant heavy who revels in violence with few words spoken in a martial arts and action movies rather than as a WWE wrestler. In fact WWE should help him do that and then bring him back as an attraction 2–3 times per year. The joy he seems to have in committing acts of violence in ring works for a monster heel who isn’t around much and he therefore wouldn’t need to be able to talk or have a character beyond lover of violence similar to movie role of the week.

As for Bobby Lashley? He’s Bobby Lashley. He is what he is. Great crowd reaction tonight. Great match all things considered with Omos. And yet something will always be missing with him. As it has always been going back 15 years. He’s a Main Event caliber player, but he isn’t or ever will be more than a transitional World Champion. Now there’s no shame in that. But he is what he is, especially at 46 years old (the man looks amazing for 46).

Johnny Knoxville defeats Sami Zayn

Grade: A+

Do you like Jackass? This match is for you. Do you like dumb ECW style hardcore wrestling? This was like watching white New Jack (RIP) without the staple gun. The ring post flare to the ass was probably my favorite spot in a match that had a lot of dumb and funny spots. Just watch the match.

I’m going to use the rest of this space to love the job Michael Cole and Pat McAfee did commentating on this match. McAfee has brought a level of joy out of Cole that we have only rarely seen (example Titus falling under the ring at the Greatest Royal Rumble). It’s like Cole has new life as a commentator, It was only 3–4 years ago when everyone hated him. Now we actively wished he was on the Stone Cold match last night. A lot of that is McAfee’s doing over the last year (combined with doing a great job of helping keep things on rails during the empty arena days of the pandemic).

Sasha Banks and Naomi defeat Queen Zelina and Carmella, Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan and Shayna Baszler and Natalya to win the Women’s Tag Titles

Grade: C-

It’s great that Sasha Banks finally got a Wrestlemania win. But it was clear from the entrances, all separate for these thrown together teams, that this was mostly a throw away match. Get more than four total women on the card, give the women a token match and call it a day. Given the level of women’s talent in the sport nowadays, this was probably the most disappointing thing about the weekend.

Additionally, Carmella’s story, which was central to the match, was straight out of the bad old days of Divadom. Sigh.

Edge defeats AJ Styles

Grade: B-

These are two of the great in ring performers of recent times. But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. This match overstayed it’s welcome. It was too long. The mind games weren’t compelling. Incredible technical wrestling, but I wasn’t drawn in. I was sinply waiting to get deeper into the match to care because it wasw obvious this was going to be an overly long epic of a match that didn’t need to be as long as this. Did Edge inherit this mantle from Triple H? Since I remember a lot of recent Triple H Mania matches feeling like this.

I will say I am intrigued by where Damien Priest goes from here with Edge. Probably not enough to consistently watch WWE but enough to follow from afar while I pay more attention to AEW.

Sheamus and Ridge Holland defeat The New Day

Grade: F

The match that didn’t fit. It got bumped off last night. It appeared tonight and quickly squashed The New Day. With Big E out for a long time, expect it to happen this way a lot. It’s clear that WWE only values them as a full unit and didn’t see what they wanted to see out of them in their various singles pushes over the last few years (is it just a fever dream I’m having that Big E won Money in the Bank and then won the WWE Title and lost it uncerimoniously before getting hurt or am I making that up).

As for Sheamus, Ridge Holland and Butch? Sheamus is who he is. Never going back to Main Event land. He’ll make a nice secondary Hall of Famer in a few years. Ridge Holland? I see nothing in him. Butch? I liked him better as Pete Dunne the Bruiserweight. But I get why Vince and Co wouldn’t want to call attention to him being close to Cruiserweight size, especially with the Cruiserweight Title decommisioned again (hopefully permanently this time since it never works every time they bring it back).

Pat McAfee defeats Austin Theory, Vince McMahon defeats Pat McAfee, Stone Cold Steve Austin stuns everyone

Grade: A-

Pat McAfee is the greatest. Also, this whole scenario was a ton of fun. Even seeing jacked Vince McMahon was a ton of fun. Stone Cold getting to throw out more stunners was fun. The match was even good.

So why the A-? Vince shouldn’t be taking stunners anymore. Donald Trump taking his stunner at Wrestlemania 23 looked better than this. Also I don’t care how long McAfee wrestled against Theory. I don’t buy vince winning that. Even jacked to the gills and with Theory intervening in places.

But still. Everyone involved here (including Cole and Byron Saxton on commentary hilariously trying to mute themselves from openly cheering McAfee because the boss wanted Theory to win and was sitting 5 feet away) was great in their performances.

Special shout out to McAfee pouring beer down his throat while on the ground after getting stunned. It’s the little things.

Roman Reigns defeats Brock Lesnar to unify the WWE and Universal Championships

Grade: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Had you never watched a Wrestlemania and this was your first one, this match probably seemed incredible.

Were you a Roman Reigns hater since 2015 and you’ve been hate watching the Main Event scene ever since this probably was the worst Main Event you could have possibly experienced (expect maybe the 2018 Main Event between these same two wrestlers)

Were you somewhere in the middle like the rest of us, this match is probably conflicting.

For me, this feels like the match that should have happened in 2018 in New Orleans. But the way the finisher spam of that match went along with Brock surprisingly retaining mwant that this match lacked impact. It was a similar structure. Except it got the right winner this time…or did it? I really don’t know.

This feud has either been the main feud or bubbling under the surface virtually non stop since 2015. It’s Main Evented 3 Wrestlemanias now. It’s endured through a cancer diagnosis, a contract ending, a pandemic, a double turn and countless other beats that extend it. It’s survived Seth Rollins generally beating both of these two in most big match but being unable to beat anyone else in a big match. It needs to be over. And it doesn’t feel over. It never feels over. Come on WWE, we need a definitive winner. But in the simple storytelling of WWE, the ultimate winner at Wrestlemania needs to be a face to bury the hatchet once and for all. And the face never wins in the end in this feud. So it goes on and on and on and on. Both wrestlers move on to other things. And then both of them eventually circle back around to do this again.

My other feelings. Roman Reigns just isn’t fun. He’s compelling. He’s a great character. But he’s not fun. And never really has been. I think some of my falling away from WWE has been related to Reigns. But not because I dislike him. I actually like him a lot as a performer. He is a dramatic, skilled performer and wrestler. But there’s no joy. He was never meant to be a face. It took WWE too long to realize that. And when he’s been on top as a face for so long, putting him on top as a heel in a run that feels inevitable just isn’t fun.

I feel bad for Roman. He’s been in the wrong place at the wrong time a lot. But man do I wish he wasn’t walking out of Wrestlemania the champion. I’d like to see his Tribal Chief character grow. He seems the same as when I left consistent WWE watching a year ago after Wrestlemania Night 2. And man no losses for a heel since December 2019 is insane and absurd. Aren’t heels supposed to lose in the end? Where is the feel good moment?

At the same time, I know a lot of fans are over the Brock Lesnar experience. They might want the feel good moment, but they don’t want him to have it. Why? He’s a part timer, he was a heel for so long that they can’t bring themselves to cheer him, they still harbor resentment that he was the one to end The Undertaker’s streak or countless other nitpicks. I get it. He would have been an imperfect solution in a different way.